‘Tis The Season: Five Classic Christmas Songs That You Hate, But I Love

It’s that time of year when we overspend, get frustrated with our relatives, drink too much and relish the few days off from work that we can get. That’s right: Xmas…the season that we both anticipate and dread because we come together with the people we love, then spend the next quarter trying to pay the bills from it.

But if anything helps us get through the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, it’s music. So rather than annoy you with politics or current events discussions, I’ll do it by counting down Christmas songs that I’m sure you hate, but I love.

5. Gabriel’s Message - Sting (1987)

This cover of the classic Basque Christmas choral is the most popular contemporary version of the song, and was part of the “A Very Special Christmas” compilation album, (which also introduced us to Run-D.M.C.’s hip hop holiday classic “Christmas in Hollis.”) 

You probably won’t play Sting’s song while serving fried chicken and collard greens, the tone is too dark. But I think of it as a hauntingly beautiful imagining of the Immaculate Conception, which we’ve named many high schools after since that magical moment.

4. Father Christmas - The Kinks (1977)

There’s no question that people are insulted by the concept of Santa Claus being verbally attacked and physically threatened by poor kids. But damn if it isn’t appropriate for that time when the U.K. faced some of its worst economic times or for these days when we’re about to get kicked repeatedly in the nuts by an oligarchy of greedy billionaires.

“Father Christmas” is a political punk song that follows the anger punk music is supposed to reflect. That it is offensive in the way that it is, is why I love it. Frankly I’m hoping for much, much more angry political music from pissed off young people in the near future.

3. Back Door Santa - Clarence Carter (1968)

Clarence Carter, one of the blues music genre’s GOATs was never known for delicate lyrics. I mean, his best known tune is “Strokin’ ” (1986). His career is song after song about cheating and illicit affairs. So hey, why not contribute to 1968’s holiday compilation album “Soul Christmas?”

I’ll be honest, this song – which Run-D.M.C. sampled years later – belongs in that vinyl record collection your grandparents had of “blue” material along with Redd Foxx, Rudy Ray Moore and Moms Mabley. But I also love it because it turns Santa Claus into someone who makes deliveries, just not to the kids.

2. What Do The Lonely Do At Christmastime? - The Emotions (1973)

Raise your hand if you’ve spent at least one Christmas alone, away from home, at work and with nobody special in your life. I’ve spent more than one and when the holiday season arrives and it seems like things are great for everyone but you, songs like this have a way of finding you.

Who better to express this sentiment than The Emotions, and what better voice than Sheila Hutchinson to sing it? A silent night / I know it's gonna be / Joy to the world / But it's gonna be sad for me.  Anyway, I love this song because it’s there for people who are heartbroken at the holiday.

1. Another Lonely Christmas - Prince (1984)

What can I say? As far as I’m concerned, this is probably one of the best songs His Royal Badness ever wrote. It’s a B-side to “I Would Die 4 U” from the Purple Rain LP, which as we know, changed music forever. It’s the tale of a man mourning his departed love who died on Christmas Day. The opening lyric is appropriate because he performed it live for the first time on Dec. 26, 1984: “Last night / I spent another lonely Christmas / Darling, darling / You should have been there…”

Now, everybody I know talks about how much they dislike this song because it’s so depressing. It’s the opposite of what holiday cheer is supposed to be. But dammit, it’s Prince and those high-powered guitar chords are second to none. He brought the same kind of energy to the classic “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” years later.

I don’t think Prince meant for the song to inspire a warm Yuletide feeling. He was being who he was, someone who brought out your most extreme emotions, and the loss of a lover is among the most extreme. So I love this holiday classic for what it is…one of Prince’s best.